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Although I feel
badly about recently sending out a poorly worded
Wellness Pathway, your patience
with me ironically gives you the opportunity to experience a powerful
cure-all: forgiveness. In his book, Forgive for Good, Frederic Luskin,
Ph.D., documents the following health benefits of forgiveness:
- Forgiveness lowers blood pressure and the concomitant risk of heart disease
and heart attacks. Hostility is the single most dangerous component of the
Type-A personality.
- It also strengthens the immune system; in other words, people who are quick
to forgive are slow to get sick.
- Forgiveness improves mental health, including a reduction in depression and
hopelessness.
- It is an important part of stress management, leading to the reduction of
stress symptoms such as racing heart, stomach upset, and dizziness.
Reflecting on Luskin's research, Dr. Christiane Northrup quipped that, "One sure-fire way to ruin your health is to sue someone." That's because
law suits have a way of entrenching people in adversarial positions. We become
invested, literally, in proving the other side wrong and getting our due. And some people
end up carrying that blaming spirit to the grave.
So what's a person to do? Let it go. Even in the rare instances where lawsuits
are appropriate, don't become invested in the outcome. Just let them run their
course. And in everyday transactions, err on the side of extending people a
generous amount of latitude. Most people are doing the best they can, given the
circumstances, most of the time. When people mess up, it's better for your own
health and wellness to forgive them than to assign blame and hold grudges.
In other words, forgiveness benefits you more than it does the offender. By holding on to
the hurt, you are hurting yourself (whether or not you hurt them too). So stop
hurting and start healing yourself. The physical and psychological benefits of
forgiveness will stay with you for life.
Coaching Inquiries: Is there someone you need to forgive? How could you let go
of the hurt and extend the olive branch of forgiveness? Would it be better to
do this privately, in your heart, or publicly, in communication with the
offender? Could a coach assist you to take positive action in time for the
holidays?
To reply to this Pathway, use our Feedback Form.
To learn more about our Wellness Coaching programs and to arrange for a complimentary wellness coaching
session, use our Contact Form or
Email Bob.
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran
President, LifeTrek Coaching International,
www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation,
www.SchoolTransformation.com
2010-2011 President, International Association of Coaching,
www.CertifiedCoach.org
Address: 121 Will Scarlet Lane, Williamsburg, VA 23185-5043
Phone: (757) 345-3452
Fax: (772) 382-3258
Skype: LifeTrek
Twitter: @LifeTrekBob
Mobile: www.LifeTrekMobile.com
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