Provision #736: eXample Matters
Laser Provision
Do you set a good example? If you are a leader in any organization, whether in a
school, a corporation, a congregation, a club, or a marching band, then I hope so. People
are watching our every move as leaders, and what they see matters. Do we work
hard? Do we express caring and empathy for people? Do we make wise decisions in
both ordinary and extraordinary times? If the answers to those three questions
are all the same – a resounding "Yes!" – then our leadership is sound and will
inspire people to greatness. If we fall short at any of those points, then we're
headed for trouble. Want to learn how to avoid that eventuality and optimize
your leadership? Read on!
LifeTrek Provision
Did you miss us last week? I know quite a few of you did, because I heard from
you when you didn't receive your weekly Provision. Not to worry: we did not meet
an untimely demise in the wake of Hurricane Irene. But we did get a big dose of
wind and rain and there was plenty of damage done around our neighborhood.
Unlike the last big hurricane, Isabel, which arrived in 2003 on a Thursday
night, giving us time to recover a bit before Provisions went out, this
hurricane arrived on Saturday afternoon and evening, making a real mess of things just as
Provisions was supposed to go out.
For those of you who are curious as to how we made out in the storm, we actually had
more damage on our property in Irene than we had in Isabel, even though Irene
did less damage in our neighborhood as a whole. We lost a tree in the front yard
that fell away from the house and did only minimal damage. In the backyard,
however, we had a huge, old oak trees come down and smash up our dock.
Fortunately, our house was spared any damage at all. But the dock is out of
commission until we figure out how to cut up and drag out a tree that is now
largely submerged. A tree company is going to give it a try this week, wetsuits
and all, so perhaps that will make good fodder for next week's Provision!
Last week's Provision was all written, and you'll read a revised version next week, but
I decided to not make any heroic and perhaps unwise efforts to get things out
through the storm. For many reasons, I'm glad I decided to break my record of
never missing a week. The message itself needed a little more seasoning, which
only the perspective of the "morning after" could provide. The logistics of
working around the storm would have been quite frustrating and perhaps
impossible. Most importantly, however, giving myself the freedom to skip a week
(something I wrote about in June of 2007, when I was feeling rather spent with
writing Provisions, and that you affirmed with so many
Reader Replies)
was refreshing.
So, there! I finally did it. I skipped a week. Hopefully you didn't have too
many withdrawal symptoms. ☺ It was a wise decision, which, of course, is the focus of today's Provision: eXample Matters. What's with the capitalized "X"? We have three letters in the
alphabet left in my current series on
Evocative Leadership: X, K, and U. You try and find three words that start
with X for an excellent Provision on leadership! As much as I would have liked
to write about xylophones, xenophobia, and your xiphisternum, those words just
don't don't pass muster, when
it comes to leadership, of words like eXample, eXperiments, and eXcellence. So that's what
you have to look forward to today and in the weeks ahead.
The notion of setting a good example should come as no surprise to any leader.
Setting an example is, in fact, an essential part of leadership. Leadership is
not just a skill set or something we do. First and foremost, leadership is a way
of being and something we stand for. Great leaders stand for great values, and
that posture – that platform – comes through in the way we carry ourselves in
relationship to the work that has to be done, the people who have to do it, and
the decisions that have to be made.
Let's look at each in turn. There's no getting around the fact that leadership
is a lot of work. Any leader who thinks of leadership as a cushy job is going to
get in trouble, sooner or later. Leaders who are above the work, who expect our
people to work harder than we work, or who would prefer to put our feet up on
the desk and to be served by others rather than to walk around and serve others,
are the kind of leaders who give leadership a bad name.
Every time I read about a leader who takes that stance, whether in their
leadership style or in their lifestyle, I also read about the problems
surrounding that leader. The two go hand in hand. When we fail to set an example
with our work ethic, we communicate volumes as to what we expect of others.
This works on both ends of the spectrum. In fact, more leaders have gotten
ourselves in trouble by overworking than by under working. Leadership, it seems
to me, attracts workaholics. We get up early and work late. We send emails at 4
in the morning and at midnight. We stay after hours and make it clear, both
explicitly and implicitly, that others are also expected to do whatever it takes
to get the job done.
Many organizations come to take this on as their organizational culture. It
won't necessarily come out in a job interview, when people are often told that
it's OK to set boundaries and that everyone has a personal life, but it will
fast become apparent after the job has been taken. Those occasional late nights
and early mornings become more frequent. "Just this once" starts to happen again
and again. Time urgency creeps to where it assumes ever larger and larger
proportions. And this may all happen without any specific direction from
leadership. Leadership sets the tone and everyone else follows.
That's not to say that there is not a time and place for hard work. There
certainly is! Right now, for example, I know a new school principal who is
trying to get her school ready for the first day of school. Over the years, the
building has been neglected, as have attention to curriculum and instruction. In
addition, there have been resource shortages and other problems. What is this leader doing? Working hard! She has even
recruited her husband who took a week of vacation time to help with the work of
getting the school building fixed up.
As a result of her efforts and example, others are noticing both up and down the
food chain. The superintendent is making new resources available while others
are pitching in to help. That's what happens when leaders work hard in common
cause to get important things done. The universe conspires to manufacture
success.
Problems develop, however, when overworking becomes the norm rather than the
exception. It's one thing to work exceptionally hard for a good reason and for a
limited period of time, it's another thing when the proverbial light at the end
of the tunnel is not actually the end at all. It is just a light at a bend in a
tunnel that never ends.
Continuous overworking makes for all kinds of problems. I have seen grown men
cry over the seemingly impossible and unappreciative demands of their leaders.
They don't quit because they need a job, but eventuality the situation
breaks down. It always does. Either physical health problems develop or the
environment becomes so toxic as to become dysfunctional and nonproductive or
even counterproductive.
Great leaders don't make that mistake. We strike the right balance when it comes
to our work ethic so as, in the words of Jennifer White, to "drive people wild
without making them crazy." Our example has that much power. It can inspire or
it can undermine. Great leaders inspire.
One reason great leaders are able to do this, even when there is an enormous
amount of work to do, is because great leaders care as much about our people as
we care about the work. We don't view people as expendable or replaceable cogs in a
wheel, as though people were a commodity or parts of a machine. We rather view
people as having feelings and needs that must be respected and honored in order
for them to perform at their very best.
Physical exhaustion is one such feeling, which stems from our need for rest.
When we overwork for too long, we not only burnout psychologically we also wear
out physically. We literally get sick and die if we don't tend to the need.
Understanding this universal human need is part of what helps great leaders to
not only pace ourselves but also to pace our organizations. After a time of
great push, it is time to pull back and recover. That is the rhythm of life, and
great leaders know how to dance to that rhythm in good times and bad. We can
never afford to ignore that dynamic.
But physical exhaustion and the need for rest are only the most obvious of the
feelings and needs that have to be recognized, worked with, and respected if
leadership is to be successful. When people are frustrated they may need
understanding or assistance. When people are nervous they may need encouragement
or perspective. When people are embarrassed they may need empathy or space. When
people are upset they may need resources or even reconciliation.
Our feelings and needs are in a never-ending cycle of ebb and flow, with an
infinite variety of possible combinations
that people bring with them into the work place or any other organizational
context (including families and other social networks). Everyone knows this to
be true, because we are all made of the same cloth. Our brains are all
constructed the same way, with brainstems and cerebellums, limbic systems, and
cerebral cortices. We may pretend that we have no feelings, or that we don't
bring them to work, but that is just a pretense: we all have them and we all
deal with them, one way or another.
The difference between ordinary leaders and extraordinary leaders is how we
process our emotions and how we relate to the emotions of others. At another
nearby school in a community devastated by Hurricane Irene, the
principal inspired her staff with the amount of empathy she expressed for them
and for the people in their community who were suffering. The school was being
used as a shelter and it was not known how long that would go on or what the
condition of the building would be afterwards.
The principal's message to her faculty and staff? "Even if we don't get into our
classrooms until the first day of school we'll be OK, because we are a family,
we pull together, and we put the needs of our students first." Now that's a leader who
cares about people. She was not expecting the impossible. She was not expecting
teachers to have their classrooms together, no matter what. She was taking the
situation into account and making clear her priorities as a compassionate and
creative leader. Somehow, things would get done. And no one would be held accountable
for anything other than doing their best under the circumstances.
Which brings me to the third way in which leaders are able to set great
examples: we not only work hard and care a lot about people, we also make wise
decisions. As the Kenny Rogers' song goes, we "know when to hold 'em, know when
to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run." In other words, we
know when to pick up the pace, when to send people home early, and when to just
sit down and be with people.
So much of what we do as leaders has to with negotiating the dynamics within and
between people. Great leaders are coaching leaders. We are able to listen to and
to help people make sense of their stories. We can explore stories from
different vantage points in order to experience them in new and
life-giving ways. We are also able to facilitate learning through the things we
choose to focus on and experiment with.
The attention of great leaders is neither an afterthought nor an accident. It is
a choice. That's because attention is like a spotlight on a stage. What we focus
our attention on is illuminated, highlighted, and scrutinized. When we choose to
focus our attention on the deficits, weaknesses, and problems of people, then
that is what we see. When we choose to look at the assets, strengths, and
possibilities, then that becomes our reality.
Great leaders choose to see possibilities. By working hard, caring a lot for
people, and choosing wisely, great leaders set an example that can transform the
ordinary into the extraordinary. I encourage you to give it a try.
Coaching Inquiries: How would you describe your work ethic? Do you overwork,
under work, or is it just right? How would you describe your emotional
intelligence? Are you too soft, too hard, or just right? How would you describe
your decision making? Do you focus on problems to the exclusion of
possibilities, or is it just right? How could you set a more positive example in
all three of these regards? Who could help you make it so?
To reply to this Provision, use our
Feedback Form. To
talk with us about coaching or consulting services for yourself or your
organization,
Email Us
or use our
Contact Form
to arrange a complimentary conversation. To learn more about LifeTrek Coaching
programs,
Click Here.
Top
LifeTrek Readers' Forum (selected feedback
from the past week)
Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments
and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do
not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To
submit your comment, use our
Feedback Form or
Email Bob.
We missed today's Provision. Assume that was because of Hurricane Irene. Hope
you are OK! It just didn't feel like Sunday without your Provision.
I remember your Provisions in the wake of Hurricane Isabel, in 2003. Apparently
this time you weren't so fortunate. I'm look forwarding to your reflections on
this natural disaster! Hopefully it won't be too long until you're back with
another Provision. (Ed. Note: Interested readers can still read those Provisions
in the archive:
Lessons from
Isabel and
Listening to Isabel.)
Hope is went well with Irene! I heard you were without power. How much water
did you to take on? (Ed. Note: No water, just trees! See today's Provision.) Top
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran
President, LifeTrek Coaching International,
www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School
Transformation,
www.SchoolTransformation.com
Immediate Past President, International Association
of Coaching,
www.CertifiedCoach.org
Author, Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time,
Online Retailers
Address: 121 Will Scarlet Lane, Williamsburg, VA 23185-5043
Phone: (757) 345-3452 • Fax: (772) 382-3258
Skype: LifeTrek • Twitter: @LifeTrekBob
Mobile: www.LifeTrekMobile.com
Subscribe/Unsubscribe:
Subscriber Services
» Top |
