Provision #726: Generosity Matters
by Bob Tschannen-Moran
Laser Provision
We took four suitcases on our recent trip to Israel: one for my wife, one for
me, one for our dress-up clothes, and one filled with gifts. Before we left, we
only knew of a few people to whom we were definitely going to give presents.
That didn't stop my wife, however, from filling the suitcase to the brim. Her
philosophy is easily summarized: "You can never have too many gifts." Sure
enough, by the end of our almost three weeks of living and working in Israel, we
had given away every single present and even wished we had brought more. Did we
go home with an empty suitcase? Hardly! It was filled up again with gifts for
our friends and family back home. What does this have to do with leadership?
Everything! Generosity matters. Read on.
LifeTrek Provision
There are at least two kinds of leaders in the world: those who ask, "What can
my position do for me?" and those who ask, "What can my position do for
others?"
Of the two, what kind of leaders do you want to work with and serve under? I
have no doubt that most if not all of you reading this Provision would prefer to
work with leaders who are more concerned with others than with themselves.
Generosity matters when it comes to leadership, so it helps to understand and
cultivate that spirit on a daily basis.
Generosity is certainly not the only instinct available to human beings. There
has been, in fact, quite a debate as to whether selfishness or generosity has
been more important in the course of not only human evolution but of natural
selection in general. At one time, biologists made it sound as though "survival
of the fittest" was the brutish norm of the universe. Selfishness, in an
organismic sense, was viewed as the driving force behind long-term survival.
Now, however, scientists are taking a more nuanced view. With the advent of
"selfish gene theory," popularized most notably by Richard Dawkins in his 1976
book
The
Selfish Gene, generosity comes back into play. Genes may be savagely
competitive, ruthlessly exploitative, and even deceitful in their determined
attempts to replicate themselves from one generation to the next. But genes
cannot replicate on their own; they require carriers which introduces many
layers of subtlety and complexity. If generosity works, then selfish genes are
happy to let their hosts share and even to sacrifice.
It turns out that human beings are not the only animals who have a penchant for
generosity. I have long enjoyed reading the work of Frans de Waal, a Dutch-born
primatologist who has lived and worked in the USA since 1981. He now teaches
psychology at Emory University, where he has become famous for looking at human
society through the lens of animal behavior. In his 2010 book,
The Age of
Empathy: Nature's Lessons for a Kinder Society, de Waal makes a strong
case for generosity as being a near universal trait. And the closer to human
beings we get, the more generosity is found.
I love his many descriptions of experiments with monkeys and other primates to
determine the limits as well as the interplay of selfishness and generosity.
When given a choice, monkeys, chimpanzees, and other primates overwhelmingly
prefer generosity to selfishness. They apparently feel better when individuals
in addition to themselves benefit from the many experiments that have been
conducted. That parallels the many field observations as to their prosocial
behaviors. The group seems to have a more powerful tug than the individual.
But selfishness and generosity are never far apart. "Egoism," de Wall observes,
"always lurks around the corner." In their work with capuchin monkeys, de Waal
and his colleagues have found three ways to kill the natural tendency to be
nice:
- Pair up two strangers, who have never met each other before, and
generosity plummets. Monkeys are in a much more selfish mood with partners
they have never met before.
- Put a physical barrier between two monkeys, such that they cannot see
each other. Even if they know each other well, and even if they have seen
the other through a peep hole, generosity again plummets. The monkeys act is
if the other is not there, and they become completely selfish.
- Make the rewards of being generous inequitable. When generosity leads to
a perceived parity of benefits, monkeys are happy to share and share alike.
When generosity leads to perceived inequalities, however, making one partner
better off than another, competition kicks in and monkeys become very
selfish indeed.
Sound familiar? Although human beings have more abilities than monkeys to
transcend unfamiliarity, distance, and inequality, all three still come into
play. Xenophobia (fear of strangers) is a well-known phenomenon, as is the
importance of putting a face on tragedy to increase generosity. Until people see
the devastating affects of a tornado, a tsunami, an earthquake, or a fire, they
are not prone to give much money.
Inequity also has its limits. Even in the USA, where the American dream
encourages people to make as much money and to become as rich as they can,
there is a certain discomfort with the growing gap between the rich and the
poor. While we were in Israel, I mentioned to some friends that the top 5% of
households in America own 72% of the financial wealth and the next 15% of the
households own another 21%. That leaves 7% of the financial wealth in
America for the remaining 80% of the population. In relative terms, most of
those people own nothing at all.
There is even more inequity when it comes to the ratio between CEO pay and
average worker pay in large corporations. In the USA, that ratio was 42:1 in
1960. Things escalated to a high of 531:1 in 2000, at the height of the stock
market bubble when CEOs were cashing in on big stock options. In 2007, the ratio
had dropped to 344:1. By way of comparison, the ratio in Europe is about 25:1.
Our friends in Israel were both astonished and dismayed by these statistics. If
human beings were monkeys, such inequalities would lead to very selfish and
antisocial behaviors indeed. Failure to spread the wealth around more equitably would not only
make people put themselves first, at the expense of others, but would also
generate significant fights and conflicts. We, in fact, see this happening in
places like Greece and other distressed economies.
Time will tell as to whether or not selfish and antisocial behaviors will come
to rule the day in the wake of such wealth inequalities. One thing is clear,
however, when it comes to mitigating and, perhaps, forestalling that eventuality: generosity matters. If
those at the top do not share and share generously with those at the bottom,
whether voluntarily or through public policy initiatives, then the entire system
of winners and losers will quickly explode. Even human beings, with our great
imaginations, have limits as to how long people can go on hoping for a better
tomorrow without seeing any results.
Such generosity has long been a staple of the American society. Perhaps no other
country has such a strong philanthropic tradition as the USA. As one of the most
unfettered capitalist economies in the world, Americans have sought to balance
things out with some of the most unprecedented generosity. In this decade alone,
more than $2 trillion USD is expected to be given to charity. This includes the
giving of notable billionaires, like Gates, Buffett, and Zuckerberg, as well as
the giving of everyone else. Americans have a penchant for addressing
inequalities and meeting needs through altruistic and prosocial behaviors.
Generosity, as much as the American dream, is part of what makes this society
work. Generosity can never take the place of government, but public policy
without personal generosity fails to understand human nature. People do not want
to be told what to do, even if they are being told to be nice. People do want to
give, however, for their own good reasons and in their own good time. Even more
than monkeys, human beings have a capacity for empathy that connects the dots
between self and others. Your needs and my needs are interrelated, so we may as
well help each other to make life more wonderful.
Unfortunately, many leaders forget this important truth. Power and position can
separate and isolate leaders from those we work with and serve. Instead of
approaching others with a charitable and generous spirit, leadership becomes all
about us. What can I do? What can I get? How can I get what I want? What is in
this for me?
Questions such as these are not the stuff of great leadership. Great leaders are
generous leaders. We are more concerned with the success of others and of our
organizations than with the success of ourselves. Robert Greenleaf referred to
such leadership as
Servant
Leadership in his seminal work of the same name. That works for me, but
I also like the image of Community Leadership put forward by Juana Bordas in her
book,
Salsa, Soul, and Spirit: Leadership for a Multicultural Age. Principle
three, "Mi Casa Es Su Casa" views such leadership as the natural
extension of collectivist cultures:
"The Latino saying "Mi casa es su casa" (My house is your house)
reflects a sprawling sense of inclusiveness and generosity. It encapsulates
a joy in sharing and implies "What I have is also yours."
"Generosity is also evident in one of the Latino golden rules: if everyone
contributes and pitches in, no one bears the burden and there will be more
than enough to go around."
"The antecedents of Latino generosity can be found in the indigenous
cultures of the Americas. In early Indian cultures, people often competed
with each other to see who could give away the most. No one wanted to be
seen as a person who had more than others. Giving was seen as a way to honor
people and to strengthen collective ties."
"Black cultures also evidence a universal compassion. Despite the fact the
their economic rungs are substantially lower, giving and taking care of
others is a long-time trend of the Black community. When people succeed,
they are expected to help others and to give back to the community. The
desire to assist others was reported by 95 percent of the people surveyed,
who described it as a moral obligation, and their charitable
giving was 25 percent more of their discretionary income than Whites."
It is through generosity that great leaders, in any culture, build trust and
wield authority. Such generosity is not just a matter of money; it more often
involves listening to and spending time with people, participating in rituals
and celebrations, and working for community advancement. By caring for people
and their needs, by attending to their feelings, great leaders evoke greatness
from people. It becomes a virtuous cycle that helps to get things done.
Coaching Inquiries: What kind of leader are you? Are you more concerned with
your own well being or the well being of others? How could you become more
oriented around generosity and caring? How could you see those attributes as
competitive advantages rather than as disadvantages? What's stopping you from
being generous with someone right now?
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LifeTrek Readers' Forum (selected feedback
from the past week)
Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments
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Email Bob.
Reading your Provision on how
Gratitude Matters truly made my day:) Thank you
for sharing your thoughts and wisdom with so much dedication and heart. A
Japanese friend of mine said that gratitude is the gateway to unconditional
love, it is the heart opener:) connecting us with life.
I loved your Provision on gratitude. I enjoyed many things about our coaching
class with you and Megan and one of them was the Values in Action Character
Survey. Number one on my results was gratitude!! I believe that gratitude
determines attitude and you captured my sentiments so eloquently in your
Provision. I love all of these Provisions you write. You and Megan are truly
making a difference. I'm glad you are enjoying your time in Israel.
Your Provision on gratitude was truly remarkable. I sent it on to a friend, and
I sent your Provision,
Data Matter, onto another. Thanks you, thank you, thank
you!! Hope that sinks in. :)
Gratitude has always been an important part of my life, but your Provision on
gratitude brought home the importance of the gratitude journal to me. I have
started to keep that now, and look forward to the blessings that will bring.
Thanks!
I don't know how you come up with these things every week. What an enormous
amount of work. It is truly a gift to the world. Thanks! Top
May you be filled with goodness, peace, and joy.
Bob Tschannen-Moran
President, LifeTrek Coaching International,
www.LifeTrekCoaching.com
CEO & Co-Founder, Center for School Transformation,
www.SchoolTransformation.com
Immediate Past President, International Association of Coaching,
www.CertifiedCoach.org
Author, Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time,
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