Provision #665: Relationships Matter

by Bob Tschannen-Moran

Laser Provision

Great leaders don't just get things done; great leaders get things done through people. That's the definition of leadership. Unfortunately, all too many leaders neglect or even violate the people side of the equation. We become so focused on getting things done that the needs of people get stepped on or trounced in the process. "Do whatever it takes!" If that sounds like you, then I encourage you to read on. This Provision is an invitation to think again. The needs of people must always be respected, honored, and met; otherwise, results suffer and leaders fail to get things done.

LifeTrek Provision

1. Benevolence. Trustworthy leaders authentically care about the people we work with. Such caring meets many needs, but especially our needs for safety, empathy, community, and rest. It's impossible to trust someone if we don't feel safe with them, understood by them, connected to them, and comfortable around them. In the push for results it's easy to neglect these important needs. When that happens, trust deteriorates and results suffer. It becomes a vicious, self-defeating cycle. The harder we drive people at the expense of their needs the harder it becomes to win their cooperation. Without cooperation, leadership becomes dictatorship and invites revolution.
   

2. Honesty. Honesty is what honesty does. Honesty itself is a universal need. Apart from authenticity, integrity, clarity, and congruence, leaders will be viewed with suspicion. We see this repeatedly in high-profile situations where leaders violate a standard or norm and then seek to hide that situation from the public. Think Tiger Woods.  The cover up becomes worse than the crime. The lie gets leaders into more trouble than what they actually did, often because the lie enables them to keep violating those standards or norms for longer periods of time. Understanding this dynamic, trustworthy leaders hold themselves to high standards of honesty.
   

3. Openness. Openness and transparency also meet our need for honesty. You can't lie about what you don't hide. All leaders are at times privileged to confidential information and keeping such confidences are part of the job. But there is a difference between the benevolent honoring of confidentiality and the malevolent keeping of secrets. The latter undermines trust, especially when leaders let things slip or get caught in a contradiction, while the former builds trust. Openness also meets our needs for community, autonomy, challenge, and transcendence. The more people know about what is going on, the more they can choose to participate in the process of getting things done.
   

4. Reliability. People can count on trustworthy leaders to do what we say and to say what we do. Walking the talk enables leaders to meet many needs, including our needs for understanding, community, work, challenge, and autonomy. Leaders set the pace when it comes to work ethic and self-management. Both cavalier and controlling leaders make for dysfunctional teams. Cavalier leaders don't care enough about results, and don't work hard enough themselves, to inspire the passionate pursuit of the possible. Over controlling leaders micromanage people in ways that compromise their autonomy and stimulate resistance. Neither approach is a formula for success.
   

5. Competence. Trustworthy leaders not only work hard, we also know what we're doing. I would not want to get on a plane with a pilot who lacks the necessary skills, training, and experience. The results could be catastrophic. Although leaders do not often work in such life and death situations, we are called upon to demonstrate expertise in our areas of responsibility. That's why leaders have such a strong commitment to lifelong learning. Expertise is never static and never finished. It we want to meet such important, universal needs as contribution, productivity, growth, and even subsistence, then we have to become both students and masters of our craft.

Needs matter when it comes to leadership because relationships matter. Leadership is about getting things done through people. When we fail to inspire trust, we fail to lead. When we fail to respect, honor, and meet the needs of the people we work with, we fail to lead. No one is perfect, but respecting, honoring, and meeting the needs of people represents the stated intention of all trustworthy leaders. We do not take people and their needs for granted. Instead, we treat them as a sacred trust and the crucible for getting things done.

Coaching Inquiries: What kind of attention do you pay to relationships? Do you inspire trust in the people you work with? What needs do you naturally pay attention to and honor? What needs are you more likely to overlook or neglect? How can you become a more holistic leader? Who can help you to get where you want to go?

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LifeTrek Readers' Forum (selected feedback from the past week)

Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, use our Feedback Form or Email Bob.