Provision #591: Beyond Self-Service

by Bob Tschannen-Moran

LifeTrek Laser Provision

The poet Rumi once wrote, "Out beyond right and wrong there is a field. I will meet you there." Today's Provision moves beyond self-service to that place of self-transcendence. It is not about right and wrong; it is about connecting with others in ways that are life-giving and life-affirming. It is about going beyond the experience of self to the experience of others and the Other. Many have been innervated recently with such passions; if it's been a while since you felt that way, then I hope you will read on and open yourself to make it so.

LifeTrek Provision

• Banking through ATMs rather than tellers.
• Checking out at stores through self-service scanners.
• Buying beverages and snacks from machines.
• Purchasing gas or petrol at the pump.
• Arranging wake up calls in hotels through an automated system.
• Checking in for flights, hotels, and rental cars using automated kiosks.
• Listening to music previews at entertainment megastores.

In these recessionary times, don't be surprised to see new expressions of the "self-service economy" as companies look to cut costs and increase revenue (one interesting study showed that people ordered more from a McDonald's machine than from an employee behind the counter).

My question is not what the "self-service economy" does to the bottom line. My question is what it does to our self-understanding as human beings. The more self-sufficient we become through automation, the less interaction we have with other human beings, the more we are at risk of becoming demanding, self-centered, and tired. They don't necessarily go hand in hand, but it happens more often than not.

That's why it's important to put ourselves in positions that connect us with other people in passionate, caring, and committed ways. Then, and only then, do we become self-transcending. And that doesn't just happen; we have to exert ourselves in order to make it so. Examples abound:

• The recent US election engaged many people with each other in self-transcending ways. We may never know the count, but people behind both presidential candidates took time off from going to school or working other jobs in order to volunteer and/or to work for the candidates of their choice. These people were captivated by the vision of what might be; so they set aside their self-interest in order to work alongside others for a worthy cause. I found every one of those people to be singularly impressive in their commitment, idealism, and vocation. These people were not self-serving; they were serving others and, as a result, they became more fully alive.
  
  
• My own experience of writing Provisions is another case in point. Week after week I put myself out in the world, and I am always blessed by the replies. This certainly doesn't just happen. I have to make the time, I have to think of you, my readers, and I have to follow the threads of what comes through my process of creation. It may be a virtual connection, but that makes it no less real. Through this platform I connect with others and transcend my own, necessarily-narrow experience. By thinking deeply about a variety of subjects and about your own reader replies, I find myself stretched in ways that make me more fully human.
  
  
• So, too when it comes to special interest groups. The most common include service clubs, spiritual communities, athletic associations, and enrichment groups. It's less important, to me, what those groups are for you than that you connect with others in ways that call you out of yourself. That's not always a matter of formal organization; indeed, our best experiences are often delightfully informal. What they have in common is the ability to connect us with a larger and wider interest. Some raise money for charity, others donate their sweat equity, many find their way through support groups, while still others practice disciplines that go beyond the ordinary. Whatever they may be for you, the key is to find them and to do them.

That doesn't happen, at least not very often, in the "self-service economy". Self-transcendence requires something deeper. A while back I had reason to contact technical support for a large computer company. My contact was with someone in India, through live-chat and remote-control technology. Now I suppose I could have figured out the answer to my question by reviewing the documentation available on their website. But by having a live interaction with a real human being, I had the opportunity for a rather transformational experience.

Of course we chatted about, worked on, and eventually resolved my problem. But along the way we also chatted about where we were in the world, how we were feeling, and even what was important to us in the new global economy. By the end of the conversation we both agreed that live-chat and remote-control technology gave us an experience that could never have been duplicated by automated systems. We had a real encounter, albeit through the virtual world, that enriched our lives and gave us a deeper appreciation of the possible.

Self-transcendence is like that. When we set aside our own self-interest we move beyond self-service to taking an interest in others, the world in which we live, and the luminous regions beyond right and wrong. That is the place in which I seek to live, and that is the place where I hope to find you.

Coaching Inquiries: What enables you to move beyond self-interest and self-service to a posture of self-transcendence and self-giving? How often do you find yourself in a place beyond right and wrong? Who could join you in that place? How would it feel to be there?

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LifeTrek Readers' Forum (selected feedback from the past week)

Editor's Note: The LifeTrek Readers' Forum contains selections from the comments and materials sent in each week by the readers of LifeTrek Provisions. They do not necessarily reflect the perspective of LifeTrek Coaching International. To submit your comment, Email Bob.