Provision #525: Balance Yourself

by Bob Tschannen-Moran
 

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Our Paleolithic ancestors were balancing themselves continuously as they went through their active, outdoor lifestyles. We have to generate our own balance challenges as an antidote for our more sedentary, indoor lifestyles. Fortunately, that's not hard to do. From balance boards, to exercise balls, to simply standing on one foot, there are plenty of opportunities to develop and strengthen our sense of balance. And it's not just a physical thing; the more we balance our bodies the more our minds and spirits will follow.

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In the course of our busy lives it is easy to get out of balance on the inside. When we encounter issues and challenges in our Work / Life Balance, most of us respond by thinking.

Sometimes we get caught up in our thinking. We worry about whether something will happen or not, or we struggle to untangle a knot of thoughts and feelings in our head. After a while, we start to feel worse than before we started. And what do most of us do when we get this way? We find ourselves thinking even harder. When this happens, we are out of balance on the inside.

We can try balancing things on the outside, but if we are out of balance on the inside, it all comes undone. Learning to practice inner balance will generate sustainable, well-rounded balance.

How can we do that? How can we practice inner balance? Spiritual teachers and psychology professors have the same message: by detaching from our errant thoughts, the ones that run off without us asking them to.

This is done by becoming aware of our current thoughts and then watching them go by without making any judgment. Or, as Dr. Richard Carlson suggests, we can refuse to follow our negative thoughts by choosing to acknowledge them and then to dismiss them. Instead of fighting our thoughts, we let them drift away. Becoming aware of our ability to do this is all we need to begin practicing inner balance.

Inner balance is not something we have to learn how to do. We already do it, at least some of the time. A friend of mine finds that he can create inner balance on the golf course. Off the golf course he gets caught up in his thinking, but on the golf course his mind is still unless he is intentionally calculating a strategy. Otherwise, he is clear-headed, free of anxiety, and no longer feels driven by his thoughts. He already has the ability to practice inner balance.

But how do we practice inner balance on demand? There are many ways, but the best way is the one that works for us. Here are two good examples to get started: Because the mind is always occupied with something in the past or the future, Eckhart Tolle suggests we use the power of now to bring intense attention into our thought or emotion. He suggests that balance will be restored when we do this without applying judgment. Dr. Carlson suggests something similar by saying we do not need to be afraid of our thoughts, but can choose to watch them go by.

Another way to practice inner balance is to take our attention out of our head and down into our body. We can do this by simply taking a nice, long deep breath -- the kind that goes deep into our belly. It may sound like yoga or meditation, and maybe it is in a portable way, but giving it a go without thinking about it or judging it is cheaper than going to an executive retreat for a month after experiencing corporate burnout!

As you read this, your mind may be dismissing inner balance as an overly simple form of denial. Or, even if it seems feasible, your mind may wonder how this would work when the stakes are high. How could we not think, at times of high risk and high stakes?

The answer is: There are no exceptions. Any thinking that leaves us feeling worse is thinking that is taking us out of balance. When the stakes are high, getting back into balance is the best thing we can do. Where would you rather solve a high-stakes problem from: Thinking that leaves you feeling confused and worse off, or from a state of clarity and wisdom?

Inner balance is not denial. It is a choice to acknowledge but not to dwell on thinking that leads to problems. It is the wisdom to use thought as a great servant, but not be used by it. This wisdom is realized by exercising the courage to trust our inner balance to find the right answer or action.

My daughter taught me this just the other day, as we were riding bikes along the Santa Monica beaches in Southern California. I was thinking about something that she and I had on our "To Do" list. She pointed out that there was no way "To Do" this on the beach and she didn't want to ruin the day by talking, worrying, or planning how we were going to handle the situation. I agreed, but it took me 5-10 minutes before the item had completely left my mind.

Mike's suggestions were helpful and right on target. Being self-critical about the distraction only added to the noise in my head. By noticing the distraction with the attitude, "Isn't that fascinating!", I could let it go more easily and readily.

The fact that balance takes continuous micro-adjustments is no reason for alarm. That's just the way balance works. There's no such thing as a steady state when it comes to balance or life. That's what I like about standing on the balance board while talking with my clients. It reminds me of the work that has to be done in order to maintain balance. First one way, then another, and then a third. Around and around we go until we tip over. Then we get back up and start the process all over again.

Of course it takes strength to do that, to make those adjustments and then to get back up when we lose our balance. That's why I encouraged you to strengthen your muscles through resistance training in my Provision, Make Stress Count. The older we get, especially past the age of 30, the more important it becomes to work those muscles in a disciplined exercise program. Otherwise we lose both muscle mass and muscle tone, making it difficult indeed to maintain our balance.

In addition to resistance training, balance exercises themselves are wonderful pursuits, both for the body and for the mind. Standing on a balance board, for example, offers the following benefits:

• Improved balance and coordination.
• Better proprioceptive awareness for injury prevention.
• Greater trunk and pelvic girdle stability.
• Increased leg and ankle range of motion.
• More core and upper body strength.
• Improved posture and a better overall relationship with gravity.
• Greater confidence in sports and daily living.